9 Months of Nursing!

We made it past 9 months! In a way, it feels like just another day. No big deal. I have always planned to nurse until my children weaned themselves, hopefully after age 2. That's how I was raised, and not meeting that goal was one of my big fears when breastfeeding wasn't as easy as I assumed it would be in the beginning. It sure seems a lot more realistic now. Then I realize that only 13.8% of mamas in the US are still breastfeeding at six months, and I give myself a little (big) pat on the back.

We've done baby-led weaning with Linus, and he loves food. He has slowly been taking less and less supplemented donor milk through the SNS, which is both nice and scary at the same time. Change in nutrition is scary with a baby who struggled so hard to gain initially. I am so afraid we will go back to those struggles. Given his love for both food and boob, though, I really don't think it's a rational fear. More just one of those lingering ghosts from our tumultuous beginning.

Knock on wood, but we should be close to having enough milk to get him to one year. I am hoping so hard that by the point that we run out of milk, he will be enjoying enough table food that my own milk will be sufficient for him. Hopefully one day, and hopefully one day not too far off. I feel really at peace with our situation lately, though. It's a nice feeling to have. We are able to nurse through the night with no supplement now (except during growth spurts), and that is really nice.

We got as official an IGT (insufficient glandular tissue) diagnosis as we could possibly get, which is both sad and reassuring. My boobs and lactation history are going into thesis work and presentations for medical professionals, though, which is kind of cool. I've been working with the "IGT IBCLC" (the same one who said that, without a doubt, this is IGT, and who is planning her PhD around teaching others to support mothers with IGT) to develop a plan of attack for the next baby, so I am hopeful that we will have a better outcome next go around. We know what to look for this time, too, with both the lip tie and tongue tie business, as well being able to recognize failure-to-thrive, so that also helps matters immensely. We had a lot of factors working against us, and I probably could be making a bit more milk than I am making with better early management, but it is honestly a relief to have confirmation of my long-standing suspicions that something was not quite right with my breasts and to have a plan of attack going forward.

Other than that, he is such a happy, healthy little boy. I couldn't be happier to be at this point. Things feel much easier than I would have ever imagined they could.

Donating

I was at Le Leche League the other day, and the question of donating came up. There seemed to be the perception that you must have an enormous freezer stash to donate or that donating requires you to commit heavily to pumping.

First, there are many different levels of donating. The bulk of our donors have wanted to clear out the freezer space that their milk was taking up. I call them finite donors. They give what they have and then they are done donating. Usually they have stopped pumping for whatever reason. Often, they pumped because they thought they would need the milk, and for whatever reason (their baby wouldn't take it, they never ended up needing it, etc), they never use it. Instead of letting that precious milk go bad or dumping it out, they generously pass it on.

Other donors pump when they can for us and continuously donate for as long as they are comfortable pumping and donating for us. It's casual and, like with any donor, we're grateful for whatever they can give us. They just let us know when there is milk, and we pick it up or collect it to be shipped whenever there is enough of it built up to warrant collecting or shipment.

Then there are the donors who commit to pumping more frequently with us specifically in mind. These are the rarest types of donors in our experience, but the perception seems to be that this is how all donation works, so I wanted to clarify that.

Mamas receiving milk are grateful for anything you can give. Please don't let the idea that you must pump continuously and forever for us keep you from donating because it just isn't the case!

4 Months

4 months ago today, I was labouring away at home. Today marks 4 months that I have breastfed my baby and 4 months of exclusive breastmilk thanks to our wonderful donors. I am amazed and thankful, both to our donors and to my sweet little guy who LOVES nursing. We surely would not have made it this far without his determined spirit and love for the boob.

The Safety of Milk Sharing (Kim)

One of the first questions we have received in regards to the milk sharing is the safety. Safety is definitely a must to consider.

There are a few layers to this question.

The first layer is that mothers/parents are responsible for understanding the methods of infant feedings they have available to them, including the risks and benefits. It is the responsibility of the mother/parents to make an INFORMED choice in regards to their infants nutrition and well-being. The feeding methods may include but would not be limited to do breastmilk from the mother, banked donor milk, informal milk sharing, wet nurses and commercial artificial infant drink.

Mothers/parents should have an open line of communication with donors. The opportunity to ask questions about their health and lifestyle, and by requesting blood screening test results is a must.
Many milk-sharing relationships are between friends, such as the case with Becky and I, so there is some history there as far as lifestyle goes. We had the opportunity to discuss my medical history, any medications or herbs I might be taking, and diet. If there was a concern with any of this Becky could decide how comfortable she was in using my milk.

As expecting mothers, woman are screened for a variety of illnesses, during their prenatal care. These tests are for the same illnesses that there might be concerns around re: milk sharing. These tests results can be shared with the mother/parents and can/should be repeated periodically during the milk sharing. Keep in mind most ill and unhealthy mothers would not have a plentiful enough supply to be able to donate nor would most, if any, in that position would offer.

In the event of some of the further donors where the donor and mother are not friends the basis above still stands. The opportunities to discuss the status of the donor is there still. Again it comes down the mother getting herself informed and making an informed choice with that information.

Safe handling of the donor milk is very important as well. Mothers/parents and donors should handle milk with clean hands and equipment and use proper storage methods at all time.

Lastly, if mothers/parents have doubts, they can pasteurize milk at home; on the stove-top as a way to inactivate HIV or using a single bottle pasteurizer that performs the Holder method of pasteurization.

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Manitoba Milk?

My sister province, Manitoba, has a few requests on their Human Milk 4 Human Babies Facebook Page. If you are feeling inspired by what you are seeing here and have a stash of milk to offer, please pop over to the Facebook page and contact the people posting or make a post offering the milk.


Human Milk 4 Human Babies Manitoba

Community

There is a lot of anguish and hurt that goes along with not having a full supply of milk. Anybody with a low supply who wanted to nurse can tell you that. In the beginning (and even now on difficult days) I felt utterly inadequate. A failure as a mother, as a woman, as a human, as a mammal. I cannot do the most basic of things for my baby. I cannot feed him without help.

I remember being at a Le Leche League meeting late in my pregnancy. They handed out little slips of paper with questions. I chose the one that said something like, "Breastfeeding my baby makes me feel..." My answer was, "Superhuman." The thought of sustaining a little being all on my own made me feel powerful. Just as powerful as growing that little person inside of me did. Imagine how powerless and crushed I felt when I needed to ask for help. It still takes my breath away.

But there is another side to that story and those feelings. The love and warmth I feel every time we get a shipment of milk is overwhelming. My heart swells with joy knowing that there are other mamas out there who have band together with me to help me take the best possible care of my boy. I cried when I found out a mama had donated money to help us cover shipping and dry ice costs. I cry every time a new cooler of milk arrives. It takes a village, and we have found a village. We are so blessed. 

These struggles have been a beautifully bittersweet lesson in asking for help. I was never good at asking for help. I, like a lot of other people, like to do things on my own. I am headstrong and independent. But when this little person entered my life, I knew I would fall to my knees and beg before I put my own sense of embarrassment over my inadequacy before his needs and best interests. Babies are funny that way. 

The other lesson I have learned is that, no, I can’t do it on my own, but neither can anybody else. What the ‘it’ is changes for each person, but we are not alone in needing help. We all need each other, and finding a community that recognizes and supports that need has been the greatest blessing of all for us. 

How many ounces of milk?

If never really occurred to me to track how many ounces of milk I had been pumping until after we had sent a batch of milk to Montreal back in December.

So I am unsure of November or December, but in January I had pumped just over 200oz. My guess total so far would be about 410 for Nov-Jan. Keep in mind I was early weeks postpartum myself and my brain did not always belong to me. I will update on February's total in March!

This is the way I start my day

One of the first things I do every morning is pump for baby Linus. I HAVE to. When I first started pumping I did early morning when I seemed to have an excess anyways. I co-bed with baby Cullen and generally allow him to feed from the left side during the night to avoid the circus acrobats of flipping sides or having to wake up enough and then stay awake through the feed for me to be sitting up as well as the whole putting baby back down game. (Have you been there, you know what I am referring to). So by morning I have a good supply of milk in the right breast, just waiting to see the pump. These morning pumping sessions don't always yield the same amount of milk but generally range from 3oz to 6oz. Occasionally there has been 8oz.

Bodies are pretty amazing things. I am pretty sure my mindful connection to Becky and Linus creates a physical response in my body. There have been times when I am busy, say cooking supper, and I will think "OH NO, I have not pumped again today" and will get a let down that I can feel. In these moments, Cullen is generally asleep or happy having been nursed recently. These small times usually produce about 2-3 additional ounces.

I am typing this post as I pump this mornings supply and already I am at 4oz. I stop every few minutes to do some breast massage or breast compressions to ensure all the ducts have been emptied. Both the massage and the compression definitely enhance yield. Those are a must for pumping.

Having this be a part of my morning routine gives me a dose of motherly hormones and I feel good as I see the milk and get it ready to store for a future trip. It is a great way to start the day.

(P.S. By the time I was ready to publish the post I was at a yield of 5oz)

Welcome

Hello and welcome to Mission Mama Milk.

This page is going to have two "author's", two women from different sides of the mission, united in that mission and the education around the mission.

I am Kim. I am a wife, mother and in relation to this blog, a milk donor. I never thought I’d call myself a writer. I am not going to pretend I am a writer but instead I will share, perhaps random, thoughts and messages about milk sharing because I enjoy sharing and educating and think this topic needs some attention.

I never set out to be a milk donor. It just happened one day. On that day a friend found out she needed to supplement her baby, who was just days younger than my youngest baby, who was just days, barely weeks, old himself and asked me "Where can I get milk?". I simply said, "I have milk" and began to pump for her and her baby that evening. Interesting first thought; She never said breast, I never heard breast. But yet, I knew what she meant. Several hours later this mama and another friend of ours appeared at my door to pick up the milk I had pumped that evening. I thought that night that this was just a little bump in the road and I would pump for a couple days to help this mama and baby and they would be on their way with breastfeeding on track. We are now a few months down the road and I am pumping still.

This blog will discuss the mission until now and continue along with us from this point forward. Our goals are numerous; to get milk from me to this mama, to discuss why this is the preferred feeding choice of these parents, why I donate, to promote milk sharing and provide education about milk sharing.

The Donee

Our story is a little long.

I am Becky. I am a first-time mama to a sweet boy named Linus. He was born peacefully into the world on October 25th, 2011. We had a homebirth, and he was born right into my arms on our family bed. He was 8 pounds 13.5 ounces. A good, solid little guy.  I hoped and planned for the birth that would give us the best start to breastfeeding possible. We had that birth. He latched on perfectly within the first hour, and we spent the first 24 hours skin-to-skin enjoying each other. Everything was as it should be.

(Our first nursing session)

In the early days, Linus nursed constantly, but he never seemed satisfied. He would cry, fidget, fuss, pull on and off frantically, and finally fall asleep at the breast. My heart felt something was wrong from the early days, but it was not until day 10 of his life, when he had finally lost 16% of his birth weight, that our midwives set up an emergency referral with the pediatrician at the hospital to get blood work done.  They told us we needed to start supplementing ASAP. In fact, she would not leave our house until we had supplement coming.

(Day 4)

I had suspected for a while that this would become our reality, after I watched my boy lose more and more weight. He got so skinny. I knew donor milk was the preferred option of the World Health Organization long before I even became pregnant. I knew it was the only option I could live with when there was donor milk available to us.  I called Kim, asked where we could get milk, and the milk started to flow in. We were so lucky to be a part of such a generous, loving mama-community. Regina is blessed in that way. Ironically, I had wanted a pump while I was pregnant for the express purpose of pumping milk to donate. That is how far away our new reality seemed to me. I never anticipated we would have insurmountable issues. We picked up milk and an SNS (supplemental nursing system) and a hospital-grade pump that night.

(4 Weeks)

The weeks ticked by, and my supply increased, but never enough to sustain Linus on my own. We went through so many herbs, drugs, tinctures, and diagnoses (he also had a tongue tie and lip tie that went undiagnosed and untreated until 5 weeks) in an attempt to increase my supply. I am still on many of those so as to maintain what supply I do have. It turns out, after all of this, that I have insufficient glandular tissue (IGT). My breasts did not grow while I was pregnant or in the postpartum. Or rather, one did, but not to the extent it should have. I never got engorged when my milk came in. I honestly had no idea if my milk had come in or not when the midwife asked.

When Linus was almost 6 weeks old, we moved to Montreal for my husband's work, leaving behind the supportive mama community of Regina. Kim has continued to pump for us and collect milk in Saskatchewan. Another two dear mamas in Saskatoon and Montreal are also pumping for us, and a sweet mama in Pennsylvania has been searching for, collecting, and shipping milk for us, as well. We are so lucky, and we have been lucky to find mamas with freezer stashes of milk who have donated to us, as well. We have received milk from about 18 women and their babies so far.

(Valentine's Day - 3.5 months with

a clean bill of health)

So here we are 3 months later, still supplementing (100% at the breast with the SNS) 1/3-1/2 of his daily needs. I want to raise awareness about donor milk: the benefits, our reasons, the costs associated with it, and our struggles with finding and shipping milk.